5 Things You Won’t Find in my Boat

Works in NYC – not on the river

Flat-billed Caps

Good for:

  • Square heads
  • Skateboard parks
  • Wearing sideways

Bad for:

  • Catching the wind
  • Major League Baseball
  • Serious fly-fishing

Balaclavas

Good for:

  • Robbing banks
  • Bad complexions
  • Dust storms

Bad for:

  • Replacing sunscreen
  • Breathing
  • Serious fly-fishing

Male Piercings

Good for:

  • Makeshift beadheads
  • Ballast
  • Adorning sunken chests

Bad for:

  • Electrical storms
  • Nasal drip
  • Serious fly-fishing

Hoodies

Good for:

  • Harry Potter movies
  • Friar Tuck
  • Trappist brewing

Bad for:

  • Shoulder strain
  • Getting shot
  • Serious fly-fishing

Exposed Underwear

Good for:

  • Prison ID
  • Free marketing
  • Anyone under 10

Bad for:

  • Prison ID
  • Catching hooks
  • Serious fly-fishing

… Chris

Author: Dave Brown

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